This is ME

SORRY EVERYONE

I am going through a little bit of a depression right now. Work and the Union are taking up the rest. I just don't have the strength to blog or think after work and with my mood lately, it is probably better that I don't. I will keep reading posts so I can stay up with everyone. Missing you all...take care....I'll get back when I can.

CONFESSION #2

TAGGED FOR 8

Lana from “The Kids Did What” tagged me after getting tagged herself from Little miss Sunshine

8 Things I am looking forward to...

* Lana getting her own place (you begged me to say that)
* Getting a visit from my boyfriend (he’s in NZ)
* Going to visit my boyfriend
* Watching my team win the Stanley Cup (Canucks)
* Getting a visit from my boyfriend
* Buying a new car
* Spending the millions I am going to win in the lottery
* Getting a visit from my boyfriend

8 Things I did yesterday...

* Ordered Pizza
* Babysat
* Ate Lana’s donuts
* Talked to Boyfriend
* Watched my sink getting fixed (big leak)
* Watched Hockey
* Tidied up
* Laundry

8 Things I wish I could do...

* Win the lottery (back off Lana)
* Sing
* Do Magic (real real magic – like Genie)
* Get a visit from my boyfriend
* Quit working
* make everyone I love healthy and happy
* wake up in the morning 30 pounds lighter (gotta go with Lana on this one)
* Go visit my boyfriend in NZ

8 Shows I watch...

* Hockey (Canucks)
* Poker (any)
* Hockey (More Canucks)
* Home Improvement Shows
* Baseball (The Jays but have gotten away from it a little)
* Hockey (without the Canucks)
* Golf
* Hockey (WHL)

8 People I tag...

Not tagging anyone. Play if you like….

MOTTO

A Paper Me and Milk Chocolate VLOG!

My daughter Lana and I wanted to be "with the times", so we went ahead and did a vlog together. Before this one, we did 4 or 5 "practice runs". While I preferred this one, Lana liked one of our "rough copies" which you can see on her blog The Kids Did WHAT?! Like the vlog at her blog, we may not make a lot of sense as we were giggling like nervous school girls. But we wanted to say hello and show our faces... sort of... Without further ado, Here we are:

(Forgive the low quality sound.)



Your turn!! :)

BIGGEST ONE I HAVE EVER SEEN

Well ... for all of you who love Give-Aways...here is the link to the biggest one I have ever seen. And the prizes are to die for. Dawn will be happy to see you and to tell you all about it. Go check it out at Bee & Rose

POLE DANCING CLASSES

Well Ladies, I did it. I actually went off with my eldest daughter and we did it. Pole Dancing!!!! YUP….you heard me. Pole Dancing. I have no idea if you know what it all about but let me tell you one thing. It isn’t all that you think it is.

We had to sign a waiver. One that said if we hurt ourselves it is our own fault and neither myself or my next of kin could sue. That should have been my first clue. I had rather graphic thoughts of leaping up onto a pole and having it break with my weight, falling through the floor boards and landing in the basement. This, however, and I am pleased to announce, did not happen. Amazingly enough.

I should actually tell you a bit about myself as I failed to do this in the past. I am a 56 year old grandmother of 9. I am not in as good a shape as I should be and I pack around a good 30+ pounds extra. Mostly belly fat. I also am not as physically strong as I should be either. Let me just say this. When the urge to workout strikes me, I usually sit down and eat chocolate until the urge passes. That said I will continue my story.

The ladies at the center were really wonderful. They took the time to show us what the program was all about and offered some great advice on how to get through it. And then we started. First we walked in a big circle while stretching out or in my case finding muscles. Then we were on mats on the floor finding more muscles. A half hour later we were warmed up. That should have been my second clue. How can pole dancing be that strenuous that one would have to warm up for that long? We stretched and we rolled and we pushed every part of our bodies up and down all while trying to do a sexy walk and running our hands over our bodies. Then we got to go to the poles. Okay….here comes the sexy stuff I thought. NOPE… I would be wrong again. Believe me when I tell you that there is nothing about it that is sexy. I just looked like an overweight seal trying to move around something in the way. I am positive I couldn’t and wouldn’t have “turned on” the seal either. Talk about awkward. I was assured that it would come with practice though and if tonight didn’t kill me, maybe I will get better. After about 20 minutes trying to do unnatural acts on a pole, it was time to take on the wall. Yup….you heard me….dancing with a wall. I do have to say that using a solid item like a pole and a wall has its advantages though. They held me up!!!

We did this wall thing and then back down on the floor and the mats to wind down but it was worse than the warm up. And those ladies…let me tell you they didn’t leave one body part alone. They worked every inch and every muscle in our bodies. It was really hard work but fun.

I can see the advantages of doing this work out and believe me, if I can move tomorrow I will be doing it again. I just have to wait and see if I survived this marathon I feel I have just completed. All in all, it was really fun and later when I learn to move properly it will be a sexy addition. Hey… who doesn’t want sexy….Right!!!

A GOOD LAUGH

Yesterday my 7 year old grand son was showing his mother and me, his "wounds". He had band aids on both of his knees. He raised his pants well over his knees to show us and there on the left side of his thigh was a huge ugly bruise. His mother asked him where he got it and his reply....WAIT FOR IT..... As he pointed to the band aid on his knee and said...."It came with this one!"

I almost peed with laughter. What?? They obviously come in pairs. It was perfectly logical to him.

How To Fix the Economy?

This is how I would fix the American Economy

Dear Mr. Obama – President of the USA

These suggestions should fix your economic problem if followed correctly. This package will cost you 400 million dollars only.

You will need to pick 39 million working families who earn $35,000.00 per year or less. Pay them each $1 million a piece with these stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Thirty Ninety million job openings - Unemployment Fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Thirty Ninety million cars ordered - Auto Industry Fixed.

3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis Fixed.

Send me One million dollars for fixing your problem.

All this and it's still cheaper than the "bailout"... all for a mere 400 Million

MORE CHOCOLATE

BEFORE COMPUTERS

YEAH YEAH

Well...what can I say...GUILTY !!! My last post was for everyone to have a great weekend. Someone, and I won't name names, gently and nicely pointed out that the weekend was over. Such a subtle a unique reminder that I should have posted a new post by now. Thank You.

So...What did I do with my weekend. Well, mostly, I worked. 12 hour days or in my case, from 630 at night to 7 in the morning. Now before you gasp I will tell you that I like that shift. It is quiet and management is gone. I get lots of work done and have time to play a few computer games. Unfortunately there is no internet connection so I can't blog. I will have to see what I can do about that.

I finished work at 7 on Sunday morning so I had the rest of the day off. It was nice to lay around and watch some TV, listen to music, catch up on some commenting, have a nice long bath with candles, a couple of naps and a few other favorite hobbies. Just a quiet nice day which was most enjoyable. Of course the down side to doing only my favorite things on Sunday is that Monday comes around and all the chores need to be done. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyday was a Sunday. Heck, I wouldn't even mind working.

What is your favorite day to relax?

GREAT WEEKEND

NO SALE LADY....

Well I think I have just met the most insistent saleswoman ever.

My eldest daughter and I were out thrift store shopping. She is learning ballroom dancing and needed some "eloquent" dresses to wear. You know the type...sexy at the top, often with beads and bangles, jewels and other such sparkly things that a magpie would love to have. The bottoms have the irregular hemline with lots of flowing soft material that swirls around. These dresses are not cheap so we hunt for them. BINGO....first store. There were lots of them BUT (and of course there is always a but) they were not in her size. She tried on about 5 or 6 and started getting discouraged. She is a tiny little thing compared to me and wears maybe a size 6 maybe 8 depending on the cut and the dress maker. Anyway, these were all WAY to big.

Enter helpful salesperson. "Oh" she said when we said they were too big on her. "I have one in the window that may fit." Off she went to get it. Now I know I checked the windows out and couldn't think of one dress that would be suitable for dance. Back she came with the dress. Now....I am trying to be nice here. Remember that as I tell the rest of this story. This dress was not only butt ugly, it probably was a size 20 and I am not exaggerating. It was browny/beige and looked somewhat like a sack. A big sack at that and something or someone had left a errant deposit upon it. I politely said "No" and put it on a rack and explained to her what we needed the dress for. She picked it off the rack and handed it back to me and said it might be worth trying on anyway. Again I said "No" and added my daughter was small and this dress was too big and put it back on the rack. Now she started to annoy me. She added that it could be tailored where upon I said "It is not right". It is the wrong color, the wrong size and was cotton. Cotton just doesn't swirl in dance." "No". She would not give up. She insisted that if we added some pleats at the waist we could get extra material for the dress to "swish". I am now giving up any hope of remaining civil. I said "No" probably a little louder than I wanted to. Hoping beyond anything that this woman would finally get the hint that this was one sale she wasn't going to make. NOPE. I was wrong. She said that if we took the dress, she would take 10% off the price since we would have to have it altered. I knew beyond a doubt I was going to get snippy if I opened my mouth for anything more than a "No". Soooooo, I bit my tongue, and said no and turned away.

Give up.....NO WAY ON EARTH WAS SHE QUITTING..... Faster than a cheetah after a gazelle she had that dress whipped off the rack and over to my daughters dressing room. She handed it to her saying "just try it on." Just like you did when your kids were 7 years old. Oooops....my daughter let out a squeal that would make a mother pig proud. "Mom, that is the UGLIEST dress ever" (cause she thought it was me that handed the dress in). I thought the poor woman was going to burst of embarrassment. Now if the dress had been the color of her face it might have had something going for it.

In retrospect, I know the woman was trying to help but got in the way and was trying so hard she forgot what we needed. I also don't blame her for trying to get the dress out of the door. It really was horrid. If I had owned the store it a) wouldn't have gotten through the door and b) would have made it out the door in the garbage can....immediately.

HELP HELP

So far on my last post I have had 4 people "visiting" that are advertising on my blog. I deleted the comments and ads but can anyone tell me how to stop this from happening again?

Thanks

SUMMER, ORANGE AND DAUGHER

Well I have had enough of winter, the cold and just blah days. I want warmth and sunshine and maybe a few palm trees. Ooops...got a little carried away there as we don't have them here. I will settle for flowers. Lots and lots of them in every color. Oh...and a hammock....like this




I can't see orange things without thinking of Yaya. I see stuff and think she would like that or wonder if she has one of those. Orange is going to drive me as I am a purple person....See what you have done? You owe me!!!!


My daughter...delightful child that she is, called me a sicko. (See Lana's blog). What kind of offspring calls their very own loving and devoted mother a sicko. I mean I am just devastated. Just like her cat is... WHEN WILL CHILDREN UNDERSTAND.
In fact I have decided to go and have some chocolate and if I gain weight...Boy are you ever in trouble for upsetting me girl..... (thanx for the excuse)

TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN ME

This Blogging Business

This blogging business is hard. I mean, like hard. As in difficult. How do you keep coming up with stuff to write about. Everyday life…..WHAT?? You want to be bored to tears maybe? My life is such that I often bore myself. As an example. Today I got to sit in a Union meeting for 8 hours and then had my taxes done. Ooooo…so exciting!! Now I get to play on the computer for a few hours. Oh and watch a hockey game.

Mind you I will write about 30 blogs of which I shall immediately erase cause they will so droll they will make me fall asleep. Face it…they bored me. So I will not burden you with that nonsense.

Maybe I could tell my fellow bloggers about the “dying” goat. Or about the day I spent getting rid of all my old paperwork. Nope. There are much better things to write about I said although I can’t think of any. Would they be interested in hearing about how big of a pot hole there was on the road and I damaged my rim and blew the tire out. Nah…. How about my first pet….a budge named Chipper. We had to give him away when we were moving. See boring. And before any of you bright-eyed bloggers out there think to help me….NO I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE….. not that there is anything interesting in that either since we are so far apart.


Don’t give up on me though. I really will come through for you if you stick with me. Once my brain settles back to earth I will put out all the stops.

Today I went to my mailbox.


It was stuffed so full I could hardly get the stuff to come out. I noted the care in which the mail person put it in….NOT…. rammed in would be a better description. I tugged and pulled till I got a piece out and then…out came the rest onto the floor. My 7 year old grandson was with me so I had to keep my cuss words in my head although they desperately wanted to come out. He pitched in and started picking the papers and that is when I realized that most of the stuff from the box were flyers, Pizza coupons, furnace cleaning…you know the stuff. I threw about 80% of the stuff away into the bin we have next to the mailboxes. When I got home, I sorted the mail further. Would you believe me if I told you that out of that perfectly packed crushed up mail, I kept only one cheque (income tax rebate) and one bill that I have already paid. That was it!!!! Talk about a waste of trees.

Anybody else have issues with the amount of non-mail that is delivered?

I WON.....

Well bloggy friends...I won the election. woo-hoo.....and no that shouldn't be capitalized. I am STILL the President. Now I get to go on to bigger and better battles with the management. Not to worry though...I sorta like to fight with them. Cause I win there too. Maybe that's why no one wanted it. Cause I am doing such a bang up job everyone was scared to run against me...Yeah Yeah...THAT'S IT.... Anything or Anyone who tries to get me out of my delusional world will pay...you have been warned !!!!

BUSY BUSY

Sorry bloggy friends…I have been very neglectful but haven’t meant to be. I have been very busy. I am the President of our local Union and have been busy trying to get elected again. …. Wait….that isn’t quite true. You see…We are a very small local. No one else really wanted the job. I mean really…no one wanted it, so to have a local and have some one represent them, I stepped into the position about 2 and half years ago and have been stuck….I mean I have been doing the job since. And even though there was no one else, we still, under the constitution, had to post election notices and everything. So I was campaigning like crazy trying to get some one else to step up to the plate. Alas I failed and am still doing the job. Am I to be congratulated??? That would be a big NAH…. I don’t mind doing it but it really is starting to take up a lot of my time that I would rather be doing other things. Like BLOGGING…

GOOD MONDAY ADVICE

HOPE

CONFESSION # 1

I am about to make a confession. Embarrassing….not too bad but still. I can get into deeper transgressions later but for now, here goes.

I was just randomingly lurking when I read a blog that mentioned wrapping paper in the blog. My mind drifted to my stash.

You see…under my bed is a huge container of wrapping paper AND in my closet is another one. I swear I won’t buy any more until it’s gone but really. But then I wouldn’t get any new paper for 10, 20, 30 years. YES I have that much. In fact, I have told my 2 daughters, my mother and one sister NOT to buy paper. Come use mine. Help me I cried. They have come for the past 3 years and wrapped presents from my beloved paper. And trust me that with 9 grandchildren, lots of presents get wrapped, but the containers are still full.

I have an obsession . I recognize that I need to get my head straighten out on this one. So I am asking you these questions in hopes that your answers will lead me down a better path. My addiction depends on you. Here goes.

If you had a gift given to you this Christmas/Birthday/other occasion and next Christmas you got another one from the same person, wrapped in the same wrapping paper as the first one, (decorations and bows different) would you …..
a) Remember it was the same paper? and
b) Would you be insulted? and
c) Would you think the giver was a cheapo? and
d) Do you think I am going crazy?

I await your final verdict…

Morning Wishes

Cleaning Poem

Oh dear....I was just sent this on email from my sister-in-law. i have no idea where it originally came from or who wrote it BUT it is just too cute not to pass along. Enjoy !!!

I asked the Lord to tell me

Why my house is such a mess

He asked if I’d been computering

And I had to answer “Yes”.

He told me to get off my fanny

And tidy up the house.

And so I started cleaning up

The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside

That really did the trick…

I was just admiring my work

I didn’t mean to “click”.

But click I did and oops I found

A real absorbing site

That I go SO way into it

I was into it all night.

Nothing’s changed except my mouse

It’s very very shiny.

I guess my house will stay a mess…

While I sit here on my hiney.

WHERE IS SPRING?

I yearn for the warming days of spring
The trees sprouting leaves of green
The tulips and daffodils give us hope
And brighten the long dreary scene.

Winter seems so endless
The short days seem so long
I want to see the sun shine bright
And hear the robins’ song

I long to feel the dark green grass
Beneath my warm bare feet
I want to look and see the flowers
Up and down the street

Where are you Spring
When will you come
To give us all the faintest hope
That winter is almost done

Sweet sunshine melt away the snow
Bring us the warm sweet air
That brings new life to all of us
Who linger in despair

Bring it now I beg of you
Come save us from the cold
Bring us all the warmth and joy
That winter came and stole

LOOKING FOR SANITY IN LOVE

You know…I have been thinking about this love thing a lot lately. What is it exactly? Is it that wonder feeling of caring so much for someone or is it a compelling feeling making a fool of yourself. I mean when does it become love. One day you like someone and the next you are a drooling imbecile who just wants to be with him/her. Your friends don’t like him/her. Your family thinks you have lost your marbles and you don’t think anything. You are just out there and I don’t mean out there I mean OUT THERE. Lost in your own little world with the object of your desire who now owns you body and soul. Or, everyone you know loves him/her and still you question it. Like, I have no idea what I did to deserve him/her.

We rarely accept that love happens. I mean really. Love HAPPENS…and then what? We have to work like little buggers to keep it going. WHAT??? We have poured our heart and souls into our mates and now we have to keep them interested. It’s true that they do as well but how, may I ask, did it just happen. Yeah yeah, I know…things didn’t just fall into place. We had to be out there looking for someone, or at least been open to an encounter.

You know I have a great idea. Why don’t we all have signs around out necks. They could say NOT AVAILABLE. Or AVAILABLE FOR TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME. Or….I MIGHT BE AVAILABLE IF…. You have the idea. How much simpler could it get. In the fine print there could be follow up instructions on how you expect to be treated or what you expect. Lists of likes and don’t likes. And don’t forget it should be honest and list all your/their good attributes and faults. And just as he/she is reading your little sign, you are reading his/hers. Then if they match up ….VOILA!!! (that means: expresses success or satisfaction. It would be the same (more or less) as saying in English "feast your eyes on this.") Or something like that anyway. Wouldn’t that be a whole lot easier than this “falling in Love thing”. And then take that “Falling in Love”. Why do we have to fall? Why aren’t we Lifted in Love?

Oh dear!!! I get in deep and I get weird. Maybe I will end this now while I appear to still have some sanity left. Too late you say? If you have any spare lucidness hanging around, send it on over….I obviously need it bad.

THIS IS MY PROTEST....

SMOKING MAD

Everybody I know is doing it and now I have this need to comply with the majority and do it to. It was the rage many years ago but somehow it got a reputation and now everyone not involved with doing it, avoids it like the plague. Come to think of it, a plague would be easier to get rid of than this scourge of society.

What the hell am I talking about…..SMOKING (or quitting in my case)

Now all the rage is to berate everything that has anything to do with smoking or people who do. One lady even suggested that when someone sees another with a cigarette, they were to go up and grab it out of their mouths. YEAH…..how would you like a fist in your face for your unsolicited effort. I suggested that when we see someone without a cigarette we should shove one in. How’d you like that Lady??? But all fun things aside…I have taken inspiration from my daughter and have decided to quit.

Ann Coulter, remember I wrote a blog on her and her stupid comments about single mothers? Well I have discovered that while I smoke I am still, according to that bimbo, a step or so higher than a single mother as far as taking down the mass general public. I took comfort in that fact but I know I was scraping the bottom of the excuse barrel with that one. Quit I must.

And talk about taking on a quest. No smoking and planning on losing weight at the same time. I figure every time I feel the need to smoke, I will just hop on the bike or the tread mill and work out. Are you laughing yet? Okay…the challenge is on. I know I can do this. I know I will live through it and I know I will be better for it.

As for my love life, I am working things out with HIM. It would appear that he was as unsure too not about me but himself. He is talking about coming in April maybe for 2 months. He doesn’t smoke either so he will be pleased to see that I don’t smoke anymore. And the loss of weight won’t hurt either.

Wish me luck and strength to endure. Pray I don’t feel the need to “kill” anything during my withdrawals. Thanks in advance for your support. I know you will be there my bloggy friends….

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

I didn't write this, I wish I had. My sister sent it to me and I wanted to share it with all of you.

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been a friend for 20 minutes or 20+ years,
remember to tell them how important they are in your life. And also remember that God has placed them in your life to make a difference..

NOT SURE ABOUT THIS

After posting that I have been in a long distance relationship, I got to wondering what the hell I was doing. I mean, I am at the mercy of the computer for communication and if that goes down … oh dear. On top of all of this, he is so much younger than I am and that leads to me wondering if it is working. Maybe I should start closer to the beginning and ending.

I met Paul (real name withheld) online. I had no idea how old he was but I guessed younger than me. At first he told me he was 35 but alas (or yippy) he is younger still. 31 to be exact…I am over 50. We talked for 8 months. Every single day for hours either by messenger or Skype. Then I flew to Australia and we met. He introduced me to some of his family and we stayed with them when we were in Sydney. He showed around and I have to admit that I fell hard. The age thing bothered me but not him. I stayed there for a month and loved it. In September, he came to Canada for a month. By this time I was gone…or at least my heart was but still wondering what this gorgeous thing was doing in my life and whether I really was what he wanted. I don’t know why I questioned it but I did but as all things seem to work themselves out, I have not heard from him since the 18^th of January. Leaving me to say that maybe he wasn’t as far gone about me as I was about him.

I know that both my girls will help me, and I know this because neither of them were exactly fond of him but kept their opinions mostly to themselves. But they will also help because I know they love me. That is why I have been depressed and not blogging much. I just don’t want to bring everyone down with me.

It must be over I say to myself but hope still lingers as I am trying to put my heart back in place. So with that I am trying to start again. Don’t worry about me…..and for the occasion I wrote a poem.

LIVING WITH TEARS IN MY EYES

He took my soul, my essence, my tomorrows

He left my heart

Aching and longing

Wondering what to do

Where to go

Filling with un-cried tears and love

That has no place to go.

My eyes are filled with tears and ready for release

I blink and prevent them from flowing

But one escapes and drips down my cheek

I catch it in my palm as it falls

And there in my hand I am looking at

A symbol of my sorrow

My heartache

My loss

My pain

My misery.

My eyes fill again

Never to be empty when I think of him

He is always on my mind

All that he meant to me.

All hopes for the future…gone

I will learn to live with tears in my eyes

And hope beyond hope

They will finally drown my heart.