I met Paul (real name withheld) online. I had no idea how old he was but I guessed younger than me. At first he told me he was 35 but alas (or yippy) he is younger still. 31 to be exact…I am over 50. We talked for 8 months. Every single day for hours either by messenger or Skype. Then I flew to
I know that both my girls will help me, and I know this because neither of them were exactly fond of him but kept their opinions mostly to themselves. But they will also help because I know they love me. That is why I have been depressed and not blogging much. I just don’t want to bring everyone down with me.
It must be over I say to myself but hope still lingers as I am trying to put my heart back in place. So with that I am trying to start again. Don’t worry about me…..and for the occasion I wrote a poem.
LIVING WITH TEARS IN MY EYES
He took my soul, my essence, my tomorrows
He left my heart
Aching and longing
Wondering what to do
Where to go
Filling with un-cried tears and love
That has no place to go.
My eyes are filled with tears and ready for release
I blink and prevent them from flowing
But one escapes and drips down my cheek
I catch it in my palm as it falls
And there in my hand I am looking at
A symbol of my sorrow
My heartache
My loss
My pain
My misery.
My eyes fill again
Never to be empty when I think of him
He is always on my mind
All that he meant to me.
All hopes for the future…gone
I will learn to live with tears in my eyes
And hope beyond hope
They will finally drown my heart.
8 comments:
I'm going to kick his a@#!
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Damn blogger ate my comment.
L♥ve you.
Love, your other favourite daughter. (We both know *I* am your favourite, but we won't tell "G" that...)
That just sucks. Here come my great big virtual hug from North Carolina.....
Chin up, girl... and let us know if we can help :)
Oh hon, I'm sorry. :(
I am very sorry. Love can be so hard as well as beautiful.
This is beautiful. I am sorry for what you are going through, but this post and poem is amazing. Thanks for writing. I have a valentine for you on my site, just right click, copy and it is yours. Thanks for reading, and for supporting me in my ups and downs. ---stacie
Happy Valentines Bloggie Friend ♥
What a beautiful poem! Why is love so hard? I hope you find peace. It seems odd that after flying all around to world to see you that he would just vanish like that. Maybe the last word hasn't been said?
Dear Seeker, I am forlorn for you. I don't hate men; I really don't. But through trial and (mainly) errors, I have come to realize there is no shining knight on a white horse. I am married now, but there is often deep disappointment within that institution, as well. There is no human male who deserves the hope and expectations that we throw on him. But nothing gets to my old (46 year-old) heart like hearing about another broken heart, because I can empathize. I'm so sorry, and I'm rooting for you in all areas of your life, esp. the one about quitting smoking right now. Stay strong.
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