Saturday, April 11, 2009


Well Ladies, I did it. I actually went off with my eldest daughter and we did it. Pole Dancing!!!! YUP….you heard me. Pole Dancing. I have no idea if you know what it all about but let me tell you one thing. It isn’t all that you think it is.

We had to sign a waiver. One that said if we hurt ourselves it is our own fault and neither myself or my next of kin could sue. That should have been my first clue. I had rather graphic thoughts of leaping up onto a pole and having it break with my weight, falling through the floor boards and landing in the basement. This, however, and I am pleased to announce, did not happen. Amazingly enough.

I should actually tell you a bit about myself as I failed to do this in the past. I am a 56 year old grandmother of 9. I am not in as good a shape as I should be and I pack around a good 30+ pounds extra. Mostly belly fat. I also am not as physically strong as I should be either. Let me just say this. When the urge to workout strikes me, I usually sit down and eat chocolate until the urge passes. That said I will continue my story.

The ladies at the center were really wonderful. They took the time to show us what the program was all about and offered some great advice on how to get through it. And then we started. First we walked in a big circle while stretching out or in my case finding muscles. Then we were on mats on the floor finding more muscles. A half hour later we were warmed up. That should have been my second clue. How can pole dancing be that strenuous that one would have to warm up for that long? We stretched and we rolled and we pushed every part of our bodies up and down all while trying to do a sexy walk and running our hands over our bodies. Then we got to go to the poles. Okay….here comes the sexy stuff I thought. NOPE… I would be wrong again. Believe me when I tell you that there is nothing about it that is sexy. I just looked like an overweight seal trying to move around something in the way. I am positive I couldn’t and wouldn’t have “turned on” the seal either. Talk about awkward. I was assured that it would come with practice though and if tonight didn’t kill me, maybe I will get better. After about 20 minutes trying to do unnatural acts on a pole, it was time to take on the wall. Yup….you heard me….dancing with a wall. I do have to say that using a solid item like a pole and a wall has its advantages though. They held me up!!!

We did this wall thing and then back down on the floor and the mats to wind down but it was worse than the warm up. And those ladies…let me tell you they didn’t leave one body part alone. They worked every inch and every muscle in our bodies. It was really hard work but fun.

I can see the advantages of doing this work out and believe me, if I can move tomorrow I will be doing it again. I just have to wait and see if I survived this marathon I feel I have just completed. All in all, it was really fun and later when I learn to move properly it will be a sexy addition. Hey… who doesn’t want sexy….Right!!!


Hit 40 said...

Pole dancing with your daughter! Way to bond as they grow up. Now you just need a pole at your house to practice. LOL

Anonymous said...

When I came over here, I was prepared to laugh at this and I'm astounded that I'm actually quite intrigued and interested. You make it sound so worthwhile!

MindyLew said...

Good for you!! I envy you - I had always secretly wanted to try pole dancing but was afraid I would get hurt or look silly!! The ones that can do it make it look so easy - but I know better! :}

Anonymous said...

How cool is that?!?!?!?

Bee and Rose said...

You know I loved you before, right? Well now you have become my hero! I've wanted to try this, but I'm kinda shy...You have just inspired me to give it a shot!

I love this post! You are one hot mama!!!!!

Happy Easter!

Minxy Mimi said...

WOW, sounds like a great workout but perhaps too embarrassing for me!!! I have about 3X the 30 lbs extra you have!!! LOL
But props to you for doing that!

Super Mega Dad said...

You are one cool lady! That is too awesome!